Office Crush

It was obvious from the first day she started in my company that I had a thing for her. She was the gorgeous new girl Priya, a fair skinned Bangalore chick with long wavy hair, a pleasant round face and a figure that God personally sculpted as an example of the perfect feminine form. Most other guys at work didn’t think much of her; they thought she was much too foul mouthed for her age, too candid with her remarks and opinions. But I thought she was perfect in every way. Since she worked in my team as one of my engineers, I found it quite simple to strike up personal conversations with her and even get her to the cafeteria. We had plenty of common interests and found ourselves connecting quite well. One time, we were discussing our weekend plans. She told me all of her schedule and then asked me what my plans were, in her typical manner. “What do you guys do on weekends? Get together, watch porn and masturbate?”

“N…. No.” I was taken aback by that question. At that point I did see why the other guys didn’t like her. “I actually don’t watch porn at all.”

She had a good laugh before realizing that I was being serious. “Why not?”

“Let’s just say that my sexuality is different…” I tried to get out of it, but those were the wrong words.

“Are you gay or something? There is gay porn, you know?”

“I’m into something else entirely.” I said. She acknowledged with a curious nod, inviting me to go further. “Do you know what s & m is?”

“S and M?” Priya asked. “Sex and monkeys?” She joked, but soon ceased giggling.

“It’s sadism and masochism.” I explained. I figured I may as well let her know what kind of person I am, if I ever was to have a chance with her.

“Sadism.” She absorbed. “Like someone who feels happy making others sad?” I nodded. “And masochism, someone who gets pleasure from being dominated by another?”

“Exactly.” I had to appreciate her vocabulary.

“So, which one are you?” she asked. “You enjoy inflicting pain on women?”

“No…” I said softly, mind drifting to all sorts of questions. Why would she guess that? Was it because I was her team lead? I must be one crappy leader.

“Oh, you enjoy receiving pain from a girl, ” she concluded. “Wow.” Then she fell deep in thought, hardly saying anything. Several minutes passed before we got back to work, and she said , “that’s very interesting.”

The conversation resumed almost every time we were alone, with questions to the order of “why are you like that?” and “I just squashed a cockroach under my sandals. Does that turn you on?” I just enjoyed the fact that she found it so interesting. I enjoyed almost everything about her and found myself falling deeper in love with her. We were getting closer, but in a friendly way and that isn’t what I wanted. I had to let her know how I felt.

The next time I had her across from me on the coffee table, I told her in the most matter of factly manner I could think of, to camouflage how seriously I meant it. “You do know that I have a crush on you, right?”

Priya smiled. “Of course I know.” A long awkward pause followed. “It’s kind of obvious.”

“So… ” I got back to the coffee. “I just wanted you to know that. I like to make sure that when I have a crush on someone, she knows about it.” True statement that was, all sixteen crushes I’ve had in my life knew about it.

“I don’t feel that way about you,” Priya said, blunt as the wrong end of a pencil. “Are you okay?”

“Pffft, I’m fine,” I said, but nearly crying inside. The air between us got really awkward. I rapidly changed subjects and tried to get my mind off it. I’d surely go home and cry about it anyway.

The end of that day, she walked up to my desk and sat on the cubicle. Everyone else had left for the day, so was just us. “Regarding what you said before,” Priya began, “what exactly did you want?”

“I just wanted to let you know how I felt.” I lied.

“Best case scenario, what would you have wanted when you told me?” Priya insisted.

“I..” I thought hard, distracted heavily by her smile, “I would have liked if you had said that you like me too, and we could be a couple.” I said, trying to sound typical but the delivery was too weak.

“If I was your girlfriend, then what?” She asked.

“You know,…?”

“But that’s just the point. I have no idea.” Priya smiled. “You’re a masochist. You’d never want to kiss me and such… Right?”

“That’s true.” I squeezed out of myself. “I would want to be dominated by you….”

“Give me some specifics.” Priya said, slowly raising her foot onto my thigh. “Tell me what we’d do together if we were a couple.”

“This is practically perfect,” I said, pointing to her foot as it crawled up my groin. She urged me to reveal more. “You’d use me all day, make me do all your work for you….”

“Go on… “

“You’d make me drop you home in my new car every day, you’d make me rub your feet during the meetings,” I found myself sinking, revealing far more than I should to a girl that had rejected me two hours ago. “Essentially, I’d become your slave.”

“Hmm,” Priya considered. “In that case, I accept you. If all you want is to be used, I am fine with it. I would love to use you.”

“But you said you didn’t like me…”

“I didn’t know that you just wanted to be used.” Priya said. “Now shut up and kiss my sandals, you pathetic dog.” The words were angry but a big smile pacified them. She was learning to give me orders. I succumbed, kissing her beautiful sandals in submission. “You are now my boyfriend,” she said, gesturing with her hands over my head as if she were blessing me. “You live for the sole purpose of making me happy.” Priya declared, inhaling deep. She seemed to enjoy having her sandals kissed.

“Yes, mistress.” I said, surrendering myself to her.

“Come, pick up my bags. Let’s go to my place.”

The one-sided relationship had just begun.

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